When you ask and ask and ask .....

Looking at my 8 year old he is normal. He's has his outbursts like every child has. But deep down a parent knows when something is wrong.
For 6 long years I've gone to the doctors and asked for them to help, to test, to refer me to someone who could help. For 6 long years I've been knocked back with the same answer " it's your parenting " .
2 years ago I signed up for the Webster Stratton 16 week parenting course to help tweak my parenting.
Now 16 sessions of which I had to take time out of work to attend (this caused a lot of issues, and ended up with me loosing my job due to the course), I found praising Tj continually made him angrier. The course itself and the structure is built for children that do not have anger issues.
Anyway 2 weeks ago I privately hired a physiologist to come and help Tj through his anger. It's amazing the lady sat with us watched Tj and even spoke to him by himself for a while.
Whilst here she watched and observed. And by the end of the session she agreed there was something wrong. She suggested he had R.A.D and possibly a slight form of autism.

Why in 6 years has it taken so long for someone to agree there is something wrong.
Last week I managed to get a doctor's appointment gave him the paper and he looked at me blankly then asked what I'd like him to do. The words "help me get help for him" came out of my mouth and again  the doctor looked blankly and said all he could do was refer me.
After all these years of not being helped I've gotten used to the daily abuse from my child. Bruised stomach, arms, daily temper tantrums and slammings of doors.
But what happens as he gets older?
I can handle my own.
My question to anyone that reads this rant is..... what happens when the abuse turns to someone else? 
When he's older and he stabs somebody ( yes maybe over dramatic but it could happen). When someone blames me for his wild behaviour.

What else can I do to help him but keep asking for help and keep getting denied.

What else can I do?

Looking at photo's is hard ...

Today I was looking through an old facebook account whilst Tj was sat next to me and I came across a photo of my oldest girl -scoobydoo. Tj immediately says look mom there's your baby girl which instantly started me blubbing. She was my world and my biggest fan as well as my confidant 8 years ago. I had Tj and she had a stroke, I couldn't cry when I put her to rest nor could I be sad. She meant everything to me and me so happy. She taught me how to love.

Yes I realise she was only a dog but growing up and having a few things happen to me. She helped every day she was there always wanting to be at my side through good times or bad times.

Memories can be cruel at times don't you think?

Do you ever get those days where your talking about someone and you had good memories about them?

Well I was chatting with an old friend from college today about an ex that I was like he was family from the word go. He was the guy that I wanted to protect, the guy I would've done anything for.

Well I decided to do a little facebook stalking today after reminiscing about the past and I really wish I hadn't. I was already feeling down this morning, after seeing his photos and pictures on their with a puppy of the dog that I wanted and pictures of him and his partner. I now feel miserable.
I wish I hadn't looked but I'm glad he's happy - kind of.

Since seeing this guy I have not dated anyone. It's now been nearly 2 years since we split up and I'm still on the look out for my gentleman.
I'm not rushing due to past relationships and how they acted.
I want to find that guy that holds the door, the chair. The guy that will be there for me no matter what.

I miss the ex and what he stood for.
Maybe one day I'll find a guy that can make me happy again.

For now I'll just think of happy times, oh and think about my next trip to the USA and what plans I can make whilst away. 

Karcher Cast Aluminium-Roasting Dish

In the oven or on the hob

I received my karcher cast aluminium dish in black including red oven mitts.
The roasting dishes came in a box within a box. I did think it was a little over the top for packaging.but i'm glad they did as they were well protected.
When opening the box and removing the contents the feel of the roasting dishes were lighter then I thought they would be.


I have tried many different methods of cooking since I received the karcher kit with the both the lid and the roasting dish. This is by far the best cooking tool I have ever used.
Its durable and holds the heat for a long time making serving from oven or hob to the table an easy task.
Its easy to use and even easier to clean with the non stick finish.

The only down-side I have found so far about these products is the width of the both pans when putting in the oven they were a fraction to wide to fit which meant I had to put them in at a little angle leaning against the sides. This does not in anyway affect the cooking of any thing that is being cooked.

The red oven mitts fit all sized hands and also reflect the heat rather well.

I would recommend this product to all of my friends as it is a bargain price for all the things you can do with the product.

My favourite dish 

Cooking prawns with garlic 

Cooking squash soup 

TJ received his Little passports letter.

This morning TJ received his second little passports letter through the post, the only other time I've seen him so excited to see post come through was when he was getting ready to open a Disney parcel. I love seeing this look of excitement in his eyes.

          Inside today's parcel came from Brazil 

• a letter
•  a couple of stickers
•  an amethyst stone
•  a post card
• quiz pages ( for use with the map)

After inspecting each piece and reading through the letter twice TJ cracked on with the questions.

bringing the map down off the wall and placing it on the table. The first thing TJ asks is how do you unscramble letters.

Taking his time to work out the puzzles he soon finished, and worked out where our little friends were going next to eat.

 Each month is a new country and we love to research a little bit more then what we receive in the little passports package.

Next month is Japan.

I finally got my first Loot crate!

Ok so I may have got just a little over excited when I found out my little black box had been delivered this morning.

Looking at the solid black box it felt quite heavy, when looking at the sending instructions I realised it had been sent from the U.S. The postage costs $19.95 as indicated on the box.
I decided to pay for the 3 months subscription with a 10 % off code that I was given. So the cost per box worked out as $28 each month delivered to the UK.



When I opened the box the theme was Dead. With bright red and purple zombies printed on the inside of the box. I was quite pleased about this theme as I love the tv series Izombie, so I was secretly hoping that there would be something to do with the series hidden in the box.




The first thing I saw was a Deadpool Q fig - this item is a loot crate exclusive so currently not found anywhere else.

The next thing I found was a t- shirt again Deadpool themed. The top is marvel branded, soft to touch with a large print across the chest.

The third item I found was my loot crate pin specially made for each moths box.

I then came across a string of ears...... I suddenly had a flashback of Universal Soldier starring Dolph Lundgren. The ears in this case are linked to the walking dead. These soap on a rope ears are rather scary have no fragrance but look great hanging of the rope they are provided with.

Last but so not least as I've been looking forward to this. I get to look in my booklet that was in the bottom of the box and yay! I'm so happy there's a publishing from one of the cast Izombie. I love Rahul Kohli's character in Izombie Ravi is probably my favourite character. Sharp witted liners all the way through the program.

I wrote this write up so you could see for yourself whether the loot crate is worth spending your money on. Although you definitely get more than your monies worth of products. In my opinion the

loot crate has a cracking value.
As long as you know each month what the theme is (which you can check online and if you don't like that one you can skip a month and get the next one delivered instead) .

New dog identification tag ♡♡

My labrador has been needing a new id tag for months so I finally took the step and looked on ebay.
I finally came across one that matched her new collar perfectly.  

The price was a bargain too at £3.49 including postage and engraving on both sides of the tag. 

When you pay for the item you choose what you'd like printed it - remembering the more you have printed on it the smaller the writing.

Myself I choose to have four lines printed. Her name, two telephone numbers and scan me as by law all dogs have to be microchipped now. 

I ordered it from eBay and it arrived back in two days.  

Honestly I couldn't be happier with my choice of product. It's strong, durable, and exactly as it's described in the seller's page.

I've added the link below so you can look at the designs yourself as the seller has lots. 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/280647028309?_trksid=p2057872.m2749.l2649&var=580026965310&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

My picture doesn't do it justice but as it has personal information it had to be a little out of focus ... sorry !

Tigerprints T's

Two days ago I received a parcel through the post from www.tigerprints.co.uk
Before this week I'd never heard of the lady Mary who runs this business let alone seen any of her products. I'm glad I have now.

Mary runs a t-shirt printing company called tigerprints. No it's not your average t-shirt printing as Mary believes that children and adults alike should be able to be an individual starting from their choice of tops to wear. 
The family runs business which originates from Bedfordshire takes everyday and makes it fun with their range of personalised t-shirts.

With designs ranging from dinosaurs to zebra or names to quotes printed on these very special tops very top ordered can be personalised to the high quality  you'd expect from a small business.

I ordered two different tops at the beginning of week.
One organic top in green (a little bit more expensive) and an ordinary red tshirt.

  I love the fact that both tops are very bright, after two washes kept its color with no color running. 

The organic green top with its giraffe print is noticeably softer to touch I've had a hard time getting Tj to take it off ( he has a thing about soft clothes). It's definitely worth the extra few pennies. 

The size I ordered was 9 - 10, the top has plenty of growing room for Tj he's not the slimmest of children due to his rugby playing frame. 

I choose to have a giraffe printed on the front which is central to the top with the head ending just below the neck line. 

The red top is long sleeved good quality cotton. The sleeves are cuffed which helps prevent them from riding up. The ribs on the cuff are loose, so there is room to move around, plenty of room to hold tissues. 

The size I ordered was 9 -11 years. This top is big enough to last a few years and a few growth spurts.

I look forward to buying a few more tops in the future. It's never to early to buy Christmas presents for friends and family these are definitely being added to my Christmas budget this year.