Looking at photo's is hard ...

Today I was looking through an old facebook account whilst Tj was sat next to me and I came across a photo of my oldest girl -scoobydoo. Tj immediately says look mom there's your baby girl which instantly started me blubbing. She was my world and my biggest fan as well as my confidant 8 years ago. I had Tj and she had a stroke, I couldn't cry when I put her to rest nor could I be sad. She meant everything to me and me so happy. She taught me how to love.

Yes I realise she was only a dog but growing up and having a few things happen to me. She helped every day she was there always wanting to be at my side through good times or bad times.

Memories can be cruel at times don't you think?

Do you ever get those days where your talking about someone and you had good memories about them?

Well I was chatting with an old friend from college today about an ex that I was like he was family from the word go. He was the guy that I wanted to protect, the guy I would've done anything for.

Well I decided to do a little facebook stalking today after reminiscing about the past and I really wish I hadn't. I was already feeling down this morning, after seeing his photos and pictures on their with a puppy of the dog that I wanted and pictures of him and his partner. I now feel miserable.
I wish I hadn't looked but I'm glad he's happy - kind of.

Since seeing this guy I have not dated anyone. It's now been nearly 2 years since we split up and I'm still on the look out for my gentleman.
I'm not rushing due to past relationships and how they acted.
I want to find that guy that holds the door, the chair. The guy that will be there for me no matter what.

I miss the ex and what he stood for.
Maybe one day I'll find a guy that can make me happy again.

For now I'll just think of happy times, oh and think about my next trip to the USA and what plans I can make whilst away. 

Saying goodbye.....

Saying good bye to loved ones is never easy. In my case last night I had to say goodbye to my 13 yr old lab cross springer.
When you wake up to find her shaking in pain in the corner of the room, and every time you go near her she moves away. It's the sudden thought that her time on this planet is up.

At 5.25pm last night my oldest girl was put out of her pain by the vet. After a hard decision of whether to operate or not I decided it would not be fair on her.

Have you had to make this hard decision before?
It's the worst part of owning an animal. It's the hardest part of owning an animal.

In the end I, myself know I made the right decision and no matter how hard a choice I know now she's pain free.

So to the vet I would like to say a big thank you for being respectful and patient.